March 6, 2013
L’heure Bleue

On my way home today, at about 6pm I experienced l’heure bleue, or the gloaming, as described by Joan Didion in Blue Nights:

You find yourself swimming in the color blue: the actual light is blue, and over the course of an hour or so this blue deepens, becomes more intense even as it darkens and fades, approximates finally the blue of the glass on a clear day at Chartres… During the blue nights you think the end of day will never come.

It couldn’t have been a truer blue today. I actually looked all around me in wonder.

February 26, 2013

Love this. The whole album is brilliant

(Source: Spotify)

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October 20, 2012
99 Life Hacks

September 22, 2012
In honour of Cairo’s current mating season.

Hat tip: @fuggirls

In honour of Cairo’s current mating season.

Hat tip: @fuggirls

September 14, 2012
Books = love (Taken with Instagram)

Books = love (Taken with Instagram)

September 8, 2012
An Exercise in Documenting My Stream of Consciousness (AKA: I Poop Too Much)

Breakfast in bed. Life’s simple pleasures. Weekends need to be longer. I am such a bum on weekends. I wonder if I should start driving. That would require me to leave this bed. Fat chance. Need to shower. Oh crap, number two time. Definitely need to shower now. I’ll shower in the afternoon when the bathroom isn’t a sauna. I wish my shows were back already. Two weeks to go with nothing to watch. I should get off this laptop and do something constructive. Must find a hobby. Nothing too strenuous. Oh, Peru looks awesome. I should quit and travel the world. I need to be a travel writer. I should get off the internet and write. I haven’t written in a while. I have nothing to say. I’m hungry, what’s for lunch? It’s Saturday, must be spaghetti. I don’t feel like spaghetti. I wonder if anyone is up for lunch. Who to call, who to call. Wait, I don’t have a ride. Fine, spaghetti. After I take Tippy to Toys R Us. I really need to get off the internet. Shitty stars, you are such a nightmare. Why do I subject myself to you people? Right, Toys R Us. EGP 999 for Lego? Are you shitting me? Tippy needs to get a job. Paul, why are you at shitty stars? Yum, macaroons. Is lunch ready? Salad! Mangoes, I love you. Oh crap, number two time again. Human Planet is amazing. I would love to be a documentary producer. But I will not trudge through the Amazon. There are insects. And piranhas. I’d rather be a travel writer. I should start a travel company. How do you get that Amadeus software? Do I want to deal with so many people? There, Lego Spiderman is done. Where’s my phone? I can’t be bothered with people today. I should nap. No, I’ll wake up with a headache. Tippy get off my face, you’re suffocating me. I really should get off the internet. Oh crap, number two again. I need a new digestive system. This is ridiculous. I should read a book. Where’s my ipad? Oh, Jetpack! I should download a movie for tonight. What to watch? Am I going to sit through a whole movie? Probably not. What’s at the cinema? I don’t understand why you need to mention God in the pledge of allegiance. What’s the point of a pledge of allegiance anyway? I pledge allegiance to myself and my fellow man. And to elephants. I pledge allegiance to elephants first. I want a pet elephant. I would pay for a genetically engineered mini elephant. And to teleport. How is there no teleportation technology yet? NASA needs more funding. They would be able to sort teleportation out. Should I go out tonight? What a question. What’s on Reddit? I read all this. I need new websites. What time is it? I should get off this computer for a while. I’ve been on it all day. Oh, pretty NY Fashion Week photos! Jil Sander, send me those heels. I need more orange in my wardrobe. I should go shopping. I just went shopping. I should save some money for Peru. Why do I have to work tomorrow? To pay for Peru and my wardrobe. Oh crap, number two time again. Sigh…

September 6, 2012
#picstitch @hassanfikry and @rana_n got hitched tonight (Taken with Instagram)

#picstitch @hassanfikry and @rana_n got hitched tonight (Taken with Instagram)

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September 1, 2012
#cairo by night #nofilter #nile #cityscapes (Taken with Instagram at Four Seasons Hotel Cairo at Nile Plaza)

#cairo by night #nofilter #nile #cityscapes (Taken with Instagram at Four Seasons Hotel Cairo at Nile Plaza)

August 24, 2012
Funeral Blues by W. H. Auden

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

August 21, 2012

I am surrounded by heartache. Heartbreak. In the midst of a mass of gyrating, intoxicated bodies; of souls lost to the music; of minds dimmed by drinks; of words half slurred and half laughed, I am surrounded by heartache. I see their attempts to extinguish the roaring furnace inside their chests, to obliterate all thoughts from their heads. I have so much to say, but there are no words. Their smiles entreat me, begging for comfort. Or better yet, for me to just make it go away. They dance. They drink. They laugh. They are convincing in their well-practiced social charade. But the heaviness of their emotions is palpable. I want to shoulder their burdens for them. I want to shake their shackles free; to find the magic that will lighten their loads. But I don’t understand. They must see the inevitability of love’s end. They surely understand that life is ever changing, evolving, fluid. One cannot depend on a constant. Love is doomed to fail before it has begun. We are engineered to be broken.

I used to think that love transgresses the selfish desires of being together forever, or only loving those who love you back – love is about embracing the other as you do yourself.  But we aren’t built that way.

We seek out those we want to fix and those we hope will fix us.

We yearn for that unshakeable connection with another soul that comes with the power to heal. We want to feel whole. We want to love and to feel loved. We want to feel. But when it doesn’t work out, when our faults, our pride, our indomitable sense of self result in a painful end, we return to our broken shells, plaster on our make-up and fabricated smiles, and go out to drink, to dance, to forget.

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